Pain versus Power

I read this week my self help book of choice, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, there a little plug for this particular author. Perhaps I should have read this at a younger age but it's a book I recommend thoroughly for those in the throes of fear gripping life changes. The experiences of things happening in our lives, you know the big stuff like loosing a loved one, divorce, loosing your job, being at the bottom of the pecking order or so it seems. I am going through some experiences where I was so low there was no where else to go but upwards, but fear gripped me in an insane way, pushing me into a corner where I was lost and desperate. Fighting out of it is impossible, gentle acceptance and patience, helped. You can not fight your way out of a situation you are obviously going through for a reason as well. I always try to see the good in the bad but this time my optimism waned BIG time. But in no way did I give up on it, I pressed on each day on waking thinking "okay today I feel like total S**** but on the other hand feeling like this means, my double shot mochachino tastes extra good, or my run around the block in the rain makes me feel alive, or that special little voice saying "I love you Mummy" pulled me through these dark experiences. So to experience pain and come through it is a path to power within oneself is my goal. My goal is in sight, I think.