Modern Love

I'm exhausting myself in writing about the icky love stuff that torments us all from time to time. What is modern love in today's society. Do we 1. Search for love in all corners of the world, 2. Feel that love completes us, 3. Require love to function as a person. I consider the online dating scene to be one of the most interesting facets of the dating scene today. Does an online date mean any less than the physical, "lets meet in a bar" type scenario. For one you get to know the person inside without the "wow I'm attracted to you but hey we don't have anything in common" factor. So many relationships are based on attraction first and foremost and lets get to know the inside last. Has online dating revolutionised this for us, forcing us to get to know a person first. The unfortunate aspect of this, is the ability to lie easily when not faced with a person. Body language speak volumes. I had the opportunity to speak with an acquaintance about his experiences with meeting his beloved online. They were in different states in the US and were communicating via the Internet. They based their relationship on honestly and mutual respect for one another PLUS the amazing connection they shared in their thoughts and dreams allowed them to indulge in a fantasy of being together in the physical sense. They then met, and found that their attraction to each was huge, which they both considered an added bonus to their already close and satisfying relationship. They both felt that had they met in the bar or in the normal way that one meets a future partner, they would not be as close as they are today.

I sat after I finished speaking with my friend about this, and thought what a lucky guy to have found the right one all via the Internet. Would this love last, the normal every day life annoyances slip into every relationship, they had gotten to know each inside first, do most couples actually get this close when meeting in the normal way, it gave me so much to consider, when it comes to modern love. I had warm fuzzies after talking to him and more than a little envy, for his situation. I am after all a self confessed hopeless romantic after all.

You, Me and Love

"Romance is dead" who said that was true. I had believed that up until a short time ago and quite possibly would have lived believing this for a long time. But alas life is a strange journey of hurt, pain, happiness, guilt, love, joy all mixed into a melting pot to bring all our life experiences together. If we experience too much of one thing is that necessarily a good thing, the rain makes the sun shine that much more breath taking, that's what I love about life. You look at seemingly happy people and find yourself questioning their secret. Happiness as an adult is a funny thing, I realise that happiness must be within oneself before you can project it into others. Loving oneself is something that has eluded me majorly until recently and then at Xmas camping with my beloved friends as they discussed the movie star or gorgeous person they long to be like, a lighting bolt hit me, wow I like me, I wana be me! Holy cow batman my friends picked up their jaws from the floor and nervously gulped back wine, how could I feel that way about myself. But I do, believe me it has not been an easy journey fraught with many moments of the self loathing that comes with every day life. But loving thyself is the gateway to others loving you, seeing what your best parts and loving the worst parts, its all relevant to who you are as a person.

We all have skeletons rattling in our closet, we all have stuff about ourselves we have done that we blush in shame about, who doesn't show me this person and I'll bet there is a little white lie cloud forming over their head. I found my path luckily with the help of a beautiful friend who shared similar experiences and has broad shoulders but I figure it can be paved alone too. Just embracing the qualities about yourself that are unique to you, that's a start and a few self help books and loving friends and one special person that's my recipe. Glad I found it.

Groundhog

Its a new day ... same situation, wake up, get into life. Life as a thirty something is wonderful I must say, adult enough to naughty but young enough to know better. I met my GF's for a coffee this morning after a haul butt around the block. As adults do we need to grow up and see life for what it is. I have this illusion about romance, I love it, I love the fairy tale stuff, I like to think that exists in the world but I'm growing day by day disillusioned by this theory.

Amongst discussions, my GFs and I often talk about this, it seems all we want is a little more romance and equality in our relationships, does anyone have this after a certain amount of time with the same person, are humans supposed to be monogamous? I have often thought no. Not to say the grass is greener but certain people loose attraction after a while, and some never get it back. Do we stick at it like the old days living in a relationship that stales and makes us miserable or do we go against all beliefs in society and move on, putting our happiness first. Its unsoluable problem when children are involved that is for sure. I'm not so sure about the "mate for life" thing in humans. It eludes me, perhaps I'm a freak but going by my GFs and their GFs and mothers and grandmothers I'm changing my perception of my freakishness.

Anyway its all relevant in the worldly nature of this blog, I think and needs an airing and my GFs and I give it the air time needed. Yay for GF's.

Acronym dictionary, GF's = Girlfriends

The Creation of Girl Interupted

Blog blog blog..... a story about a girl, well woman, late thirties how interesting is that. Relationships, children, careers, friendships all been done before I hear you say But this has a lil twist .. Im a kiwi growing up at the age of 38 WOW I finally know me woohooo only took me a certain amount of time to figure who I am, what I want and where Im going. A KIWI, whats a damn kiwi, a furry fruit that tastes yummy on the inside ..yep thats me, some individuals in the world have never heard of kiwis. We are New Zealanders with a cute lil nickname. To add to that aswell I am a geek and love the fact I can plaster my life learning over the web for a few aimless souls to read. So Kiwi Girl pulls up her pedastal and soap box ready to spout her few words of wisdom to the world.

First things first, 38 is that the new 25 I think it is, I look at Mom when she was my age, momsy and always baking, hell whats an oven, I made muffins once in 1998, I was pregnant and nesting give me a break. I go out still, drink far to much, check out men, probably ones that are far too young and still living with their mothers too. Are we a nation of growing up later. I talk amongst my friends, we are all in similar situations, babies are growing up, husbands are growing out and careers are becoming very important, to curb the nappy brain and feel like a woman again. Pre children, I wore my business suit to work, swayed my hips as I walked along the street teetering on heels far to high, delivering documents, attending meetings and flirting with the numerous geeky men in the office. Now I look at my outdated business suits and yearn for those days again, but this time to be in a position of power, prove my intelligence in a male orientated world and get them to look past the blonde hair thing.

I am a girl, I love girlie things but now its time to grow up ... this girl is interupted mid 30's to become a woman and that is where my blog starts. Watch this space