Soul Searching

Soul mates ?? Is there such a thing, do I believe, is this a hopeless romantics view of the world. Hmmm pondering this question, I have always believed in the one person for everyone point of view, but only secretly, I would never spout out at dinner parties, how much I would love the ideal of there being just one lover for you in the world. My public view of this is ... there will never be just one person for everyone, you can adapt and sway to be with many people, I think a connection is possible with many similar souls. Is this true, is a mind connection with someone, thinking the same things at the same time, feeling warmth from each others smiles, happy to just be, is this something that can be found in many people of your liking. I'm not sure, I really struggled with this question, my romantic side fighting my more practical realistic side.

Someone who makes your heart race and pulse quicken and gives you butterfly tummies, is a keeper, but after the lust and love fades, the companionship and knowing in each other takes a new hold. But then should this person always hold your heart and can more than one person hold that key. I'm not sure, in my experience I suppose the one person only forever has waned and I'm not quite sure anymore of my realistic view of life, and seem to like the idea of a soul mate. I consider my girlfriends of soul mate quality looking at it from a different perspective, they love you, all your quirks and mistakes, they pick you up when you fall, they hold your hand when you cry and just have the ability to make you smile while shopping for a new pair of red heels. So yes I believe in soul mates, not just the posiblity of one but many throughout a lifetime.

Pleasure in Pain

Do you ever think that life is merrily following along a path, one which you intended it to follow and then out of the bush jumps a wolf so to speak and rocks your world the core of its foundations. Okay now that in English is, life holds such possibility but do we consider it changeable completely. I know for myself, I have always considered my life would turn out a certain way, how narrow minded is that? Recently I had the opportunity to create a new possibility in mine. After the death of my mother, I was suddenly freed of any constraints that an influential person can cast on your life. At the time I was devastated but it actually made me realise often we can run to the idea our life should be based on the rules of how our parents would do things. Or from what they consider we should do.

I suppose what I am trying to say very inaccurately, is sometimes we hold things from our past of what our parents have said to us, or what our caregivers or siblings have said and consider this to be true about ourselves. We lack the knowledge to realise that maybe this is what they think only and really not about us at all. I know my sister considered me weak at one stage of our lives, her comments rang in my ears for 10 years before I finally released the shackles of this comment. Because a person holds a perception of us, it doesn't mean we are that way, we (being I) have to embrace ourselves, take ourselves by our hand and jump into the unknown trusting only our own judgement and our own true self that we are doing the right thing. Fear of course is prevalent in this but the feeling of pain and coming out the other side is liberating spine tingling if we can see that the realms of possibility is not always what we consider our lives should be and open ourselves up to the possibility of change.

WOW that is deep, LOL oh well .. I have depth inside of myself I need to express and there ya are, its out now !