Delish Things I LOVE!

On a more serious note, I must discuss my OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I feel like a freak but I need to confess. I realise this is a real and potentially soul destroying illness for some, but I needed a little light hearted cheer to post on my oh so serious blog of late, so my apologies to the real suffers.

I.. Nicky..stand up and confess I have an OCD for shoes. I frequent shoe shops, inhale deeply avoiding the growing excitement in my tummy and the tingles in my finger tips as I ache to touch the leather and delicious array of shinny new shoes displayed on the shelves. I LOVE shoes, I stand and smile, fingering (not at all inappropriate in the light of such beauty) each of the styles dreaming about my relationship with them. I have a special passion for delightful girlie shoes, with extremely high heels, and pretty ribbons to lace up, or pink leather with black buckles, or my extreme favorite which I'm saving madly for, a black patent leather pair with an petite tiny incy buckle and an organza glittery butterfly covering it, OMG to die for. Is this an illness? I ask myself, I feel a little heady on entering my fave designer clothing shops, but nothing like this. I seriously had a small amount of drool recently which I quickly licked off my lips, over a pair of beautiful black lace up heels, with lovely tubular laces, almost librarian like but would look killer with a pair of black tights with a seam up the back and my fave lil black dress. Okay my confession may seem a little silly but I had to, it worried me that I may not be normal, till I actually noticed the other women in the store, carrying a variety of tissue material (for wiping drool) and white knuckles clutching their purses. YAY I'm normal after all.

Pain versus Power

I read this week my self help book of choice, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, there a little plug for this particular author. Perhaps I should have read this at a younger age but it's a book I recommend thoroughly for those in the throes of fear gripping life changes. The experiences of things happening in our lives, you know the big stuff like loosing a loved one, divorce, loosing your job, being at the bottom of the pecking order or so it seems. I am going through some experiences where I was so low there was no where else to go but upwards, but fear gripped me in an insane way, pushing me into a corner where I was lost and desperate. Fighting out of it is impossible, gentle acceptance and patience, helped. You can not fight your way out of a situation you are obviously going through for a reason as well. I always try to see the good in the bad but this time my optimism waned BIG time. But in no way did I give up on it, I pressed on each day on waking thinking "okay today I feel like total S**** but on the other hand feeling like this means, my double shot mochachino tastes extra good, or my run around the block in the rain makes me feel alive, or that special little voice saying "I love you Mummy" pulled me through these dark experiences. So to experience pain and come through it is a path to power within oneself is my goal. My goal is in sight, I think.