"Romance is dead" who said that was true. I had believed that up until a short time ago and quite possibly would have lived believing this for a long time. But alas life is a strange journey of hurt, pain, happiness, guilt, love, joy all mixed into a melting pot to bring all our life experiences together. If we experience too much of one thing is that necessarily a good thing, the rain makes the sun shine that much more breath taking, that's what I love about life. You look at seemingly happy people and find yourself questioning their secret. Happiness as an adult is a funny thing, I realise that happiness must be within oneself before you can project it into others. Loving oneself is something that has eluded me majorly until recently and then at Xmas camping with my beloved friends as they discussed the movie star or gorgeous person they long to be like, a lighting bolt hit me, wow I like me, I wana be me! Holy cow batman my friends picked up their jaws from the floor and nervously gulped back wine, how could I feel that way about myself. But I do, believe me it has not been an easy journey fraught with many moments of the self loathing that comes with every day life. But loving thyself is the gateway to others loving you, seeing what your best parts and loving the worst parts, its all relevant to who you are as a person.
We all have skeletons rattling in our closet, we all have stuff about ourselves we have done that we blush in shame about, who doesn't show me this person and I'll bet there is a little white lie cloud forming over their head. I found my path luckily with the help of a beautiful friend who shared similar experiences and has broad shoulders but I figure it can be paved alone too. Just embracing the qualities about yourself that are unique to you, that's a start and a few self help books and loving friends and one special person that's my recipe. Glad I found it.
