Motherly Love!

Eight years ago, I lost the most important person in my life, my mum. As a woman, in my view, mothers are the most important people in our development into adulthood. But when we are all grown up and living our lives as an independent, loosing your mother changes your world so dramatically. I look at where I would have been, had she been alive to mould me through my 30's. I see a different place to where I would be had she been in my life. Am I a better person ? As much as I love my mum and loved her dearly, I see my life as an independent symphony of experiences, due to her influence and also her departing this life. I am grafeful for the 30 years I had her wonderful influence in my life and being a person of a positive nature (much like her) I tried so hard to see the good in such a bad awful experience of my mum dying. I was pregnant at the time with my second daughter, I think the first year of her passing was numbness, after that I suppose I see it as a mourning period and overcoming the shock of her death. I held onto the fact I had her for such a short time, but what I had was the most wonderful mum in the world, which I suppose some people never experience. She was a positive, caring, living life to the full soul, whom I loved dearly and I see her "good personality traits" in myself. I envy my friends sometimes as they moan about their mothers, I often speak my mind telling them to love their mothers. I wish I could have mine back in a heartbeat but I dont live in regret, I don't wish for something I cant have, I hold her dear to my heart and I live with the knowledge I had such a wonderful influence in my life for a short time and live my life to my standards knowing I would make her proud "being happy".